It has been a while since I last posted. Around me and within me has been a whirlwind of activity. Friends were having difficult times, work became more stressful and demanding, finances were a lot tighter, and it seemed that the world was getting crazier by the day. I had so much aspiration for my book since being published, and visions of this becoming my full-time work. What I learned was that this would require more time and money than I had right now. Shelving this dream only made me feel sad and as if I was not worthy of such success. I was overwhelmed by all the challenges, concerns and pain that this became me. My tendency to become depressed came back, along with the feeling of being lost again, confused, and scared.
Sound familiar? If so, welcome to life. The moment we think we have it all under control, we seem to enter into a new state of chaos. My view of these times are reminders that we have fallen off the path, and that we have more work to do. Well, that is the case with me. I had to find that low point along with having one of those synchronistic reminders (God’s way of being anonymous), to realize that I was back in a familiar hole.
The power of all the personal growth and self-discovery I had made was hoped to have resulted in obtaining a “Get Out Of Jail Free Card” or in my case, a means of being able to avoid the challenging parts of life anymore. I thought I had gone through enough. Instead what I realized is that all the work I had done had developed a sort of cushion that would not prevent me from falling again, but made hitting bottom not as harsh as it once was. The cushion was my awareness of my truth, that even though I had separated from it for a period of time, would find a way to remind me of this truth.
It is both humbling and freeing to share this. I believed that as an author on the topic of personal growth, that I had to be perfect, and be demonstrating nothing but bliss and joy. Instead I experienced a reminder that I am just like everyone else and not immune to the ups and downs to life. I too am a member of the human condition. In addition, it only makes me more passionate than ever on the topic of personal growth and self-discovery, since it once again saved me. It is this awareness that makes me want to share my story and what I learned with others as a peer, colleague and friend who can help others on their way. We are truly all in this together, and the past few months served as a great reminder to me of this core truth.
With that I say welcome back, and here is to more meaningful and engaging conversations with a renewed sense of humbleness and honesty. Thanks for listening.